The third episode of (b)OINK the intern has arrived! We promised him some candy if he was able to get through all of these today.



How often do you look at your phone a day?

Well, this is a rather embarrassing question. My phone is basically always in my hand, or nearby. Between running a business, running a fair bit of the (b)OINK social media (yes, that’s me! If you hate it, keep it to yourself), and being involved with a few other endeavors that require me to be in touch basically always. My phone is always buzzing, flashing, dinging, and being incredibly irritating with information that I usually need to deal with in a timely manner. Though, I do get to laugh at some of the tweets.  So, I would say 500? There are times I look at my phone. Put it down, pick it back up, and check it again. After that, I usually spend a quiet moment trying to figure out if this is a sign of early Alzheimer’s.

How do I a let a guy know he should spank me harder without emasculating him?

You don’t. So just run with it. I mean, the reason a guy spanks his lover/extreme cuddler/filthy coitus comrade is because he is feeling especially manly. So when you start laughing or tell him it’s not enough, he’s emasculated.

You done took his balls, son.

If he’s a good guy, he’ll shrug it off and roll with it. After all, conjugal visiting is a team sport.

So, go harder. Make it so patently ridiculous it becomes funny. Then, after the relationship is all done, and you’re through being sad, email me and I can laugh about it.

Here are a few lines that spring to mind.

“Your tap reminds me of splashback.”

“That gentle marriage of hand to buttock was akin to a leaf’s gentle landing upon the autumnal forest floor”

“Smack that ass like it’s choking.”

Have fun and safe spanking!

How many HORSE sized piggies do you think you could take in a fight?

Two. No more, no less.

What’s your favorite city in the world?

I tend to like whatever cities I’m in. I’ve traveled a lot, and tend to love everything pretty equally unless it was truly horrible. Generally, if you have a town with kick-ass, old ass architecture, crazy alleys, and neat nooks and crannies, it’s my favorite city ever until I go to the next one. London and Dublin are great and Hong Kong is fascinating. Kathmandu was hilarious until it got a little annoying and I love parts of Chicago. I wandered Amsterdam for 8 hours and had some unique experiences. I’ve never been to NYC. But I have spent some time in DC and Philly. They were all great and there were aspects I liked about all of them.  Give me a city with some cool stories and let me wander, I’ll fall in love with it.

I’m basically a city whore, apparently.

…that’s a weird visual.

So, my favorite city is the next one.


Thanks for the questions and make sure to keep them coming. Remember, the raunchier, more ridiculous, and inappropriate they are, the better it is!



Apprentice (b)OINKer


Corwin Holzman

Corwin Holzman

Corwin Holzman is the intern. He is pursuing an MA in writing as well as running a Milwaukee karate school, competing in martial arts, and driving quite a bit. He also blogs about his adventures and thoughts here.
Corwin Holzman

Latest posts by Corwin Holzman (see all)